Tell Your Ex This and They’ll Come Back: Proven Tips
Tell your ex this and they’ll come back — it’s a phrase many people wonder about after a breakup. The desire to reconnect often comes from lingering feelings, unfinished conversations, or the hope that love can have a second chance. But psychology shows us that getting back with an ex is an idea that many people consider after a breakup, especially when feelings still linger and there’s a sense of unfinished business. However, rebuilding a relationship doesn’t just depend on what you say, but on how you say it, when you say it, and, above all, from what emotional place you do it. It’s about how you communicate, what you’ve learned, and whether real change has happened. If you rush into it without reflection, you risk repeating the same painful patterns. Instead, focus on emotional honesty, timing, and mutual growth. Tell your ex this and they’ll come back, but only if both of you are ready for a new chapter.
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Is It Really Possible to Get Back With an Ex?
Psychologists agree that second chances can work when handled carefully. Tell your ex this and they’ll come back if your words show honesty and maturity. A relationship can succeed again if:
- Both partners have reflected on their past mistakes.
- There’s a genuine desire to change patterns.
- New boundaries and healthier communication are created.
Still, even when love exists, not every relationship should be rekindled. Sometimes, the lessons learned from a breakup serve as stepping stones for healthier future relationships. Tell your ex this and they’ll come back only if you’re both willing to commit to growth. If one person is stuck in old habits, the cycle will likely repeat.
What to Say to Your Ex If You Want Them Back
If you want results, don’t beg or pressure. Tell your ex this, and they’ll come back only if your words are honest and supported by actions. Psychology recommends speaking from vulnerability, not desperation. For example:
- “I’ve reflected on my mistakes and I understand them better now.”
- “I want to share how I feel, but I’d also like to hear your side.”
- “I’m not asking to repeat the past. I’d like us to build something healthier.”
Adding specifics helps too. Share what you’ve changed in your behavior, habits, or mindset since the breakup. Show your ex that you’re not looking to go back to the same old relationship, but to start fresh. When you align your words with actions, your message becomes much more powerful.
Mistakes to Avoid When Talking to Your Ex
The wrong approach can close the door forever. Avoid these traps:
- Acting from desperation and constantly calling or texting.
- Rehashing old arguments instead of focusing on growth.
- Pretending to be someone you’re not just to win them back.
- Returning only out of fear of loneliness instead of real change.
Another mistake is comparing your ex to other people in order to make them jealous. This often backfires and creates more resentment. Also, avoid making promises you cannot keep, because broken promises damage trust further. Remember, tell your ex this and they’ll come back, but it works only if you are sincere, patient, and consistent with your actions.
When Not to Try to Win Back Your Ex
Sometimes, telling your ex this so they’ll come back isn’t the answer. You shouldn’t try if:
- The relationship was abusive or toxic.
- Your ex shows no signs of growth or change.
- You’re motivated only by fear of being alone.
- Past attempts to reunite have always failed.
In these cases, pursuing reconciliation can do more harm than good. Trying to reopen a toxic chapter often leads to repeated pain, loss of self-esteem, and wasted time. Instead of telling your ex something just to win them back, use that energy to heal and invest in yourself. The right person will respect you, value your growth, and meet you halfway without forcing.

Conclusion
In the end, tell your ex this and they’ll come back only if both of you are truly ready for a second chance. Words can open the door, but healing, growth, and commitment keep it open. The best thing you can say comes from honesty and maturity: that you’ve learned, you’ve grown, and you want to build something new together. But remember, reconciliation should never come at the cost of your well-being.
Taking the time to heal before reaching out increases your chances of success. It also shows your ex that you are serious about change. Even if the relationship doesn’t restart, you’ll walk away with dignity and growth. Love deserves honesty, respect, and balance — and that begins with yourself.
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FAQs
1. Does “tell your ex this and they’ll come back” really work?
Yes, but only if your ex is also open to reconnection. Words can spark interest, but growth and action matter more.
2. What are examples of what to tell an ex?
You can say, “I’ve learned from our breakup, I understand where I went wrong, and I want to create something new.” Tell your ex this and they’ll come back if they see true change.
3. How long should I wait before telling my ex something?
Wait until emotions have cooled. Giving space allows for calm conversations and shows maturity. Then, tell your ex this and they’ll come back with a clearer mind.
4. What if I tell my ex the right thing and they don’t respond?
It may mean they’re not ready or don’t want to return. Tell your ex this and they’ll come back is not a guarantee. Respect their choice and focus on your healing.
5. Is it sometimes better not to tell an ex anything?
Yes. If the relationship was toxic, silence is healthier. But if both people have grown, tell your ex this and they’ll come back could lead to a new beginning.

I’m Emma Johnson, a psychologist who loves to write and share ideas.
I enjoy making psychology simple so everyone can understand and use it in daily life.
If you’d like to talk, ask questions, or work together, feel free to reach out.
Let’s learn and grow in the world of psychology together!
